Questions Unknown at the Time of My Naming
By my count, there are currently forty (40) different "people" with the name of "Darren Draper" on Facebook. Spelled exactly like I do, creepy parallel universes and all.
I doubt when my parents decided to run with the name of Darren - you know, not Darin, Daron, Derin, Daryn, or Darrin - they had no idea there were so many already in existence, or soon would be, particularly in England.
West Jordan, Utah, never seemed so small.
So naturally, when I noticed how many Darrens there were on Facebook, question after question began swirling around in my head.
- What would happen if I "friend-ed" them?
- How would I feel if I got a friend request. From myself?
- What if I friend myself and I end up being a jerk?
- Assuming I did friend them, is it too paranoid to wonder if the chain-saw-wielding-mass-murdering-type-Darren-Draper out there would then try to assume my identity? Surely life can't be that wonderful for all of us out there.
- How many of them are wondering the same thing about me?
It was hard enough that time I had a female "Daryn" staring back at me while I taught high school Geometry. I'm not so sure I'm ready to be Facebook friends with myself.